Not Waiting

I haven’t exactly been
waiting to hear from you, you know.
I just open my inbox once in a while
to see whether you’ve cared to write.

I didn’t miss you all these days.
Not even close.
And then one day I did-
it’s sad that you don’t care.
It’s not my fault, you know.
I wasn’t the one who started writing,
I didn’t tell you “everything”
like you claimed to have told me,
I was just being polite-
replying to my mails.
And even when I say I miss you,
I don’t mean I’m in love with you.
I just mean-
the emails were nice.

Yippee!

Blogging is a temptation I can’t resist; a weakness if you may term it so.

I’d been miserable for the past few days, but monday’s SPTC (Student Parent Teacher Conference) brightened my day. Not the IRONY. I mean how often is it that your teachers, of all people, make you feel good about yourself? Teachers who have, for the past two years intimidated you, made you feel worthless and incompetent and (knowingly or unknowingly) made you feel like you are unworthy of all you have.

Day befor I studied. I ACTUALLY studied. And loads. I mean loads compared to my normal studying time- nearly six hours already. Not so yesterday, but today’s already a good start. The fact that people (and of all people, tecahers) believe I can get As is a motivating factor in itself- Yea me!

On a break- again

Not that I’ve been the most regular blogger, but I should take a break and really STUDY for my exams, which are only 20 days away.

AAAHHHHH

By the way, I need some inspiration to start studying, so please…

Sarwajanik Sunuwai

Sarwajanik Sunuwai (Kantipur TV) was great today. I loved the way the people (Wow nepalis are politically concious) challeneged Maoist DinaNath Sharma. I hated the way that, like always, the Maobadis think that using complicated words will make them look smart. I think the people would prefer it if the comerades admitted that they do not have logiocal answers to some (many many) of the questions they’re asked.

Bijaya Julus

Ran across a victory rally early morning today. Phampha Bhusal.

At first all I could see was a group of kids with read tika on their faces. A kid was saying to the mike “jit kasko” and the rest were shouting “maobadiko”. I sneered. Didn’t exactly mean to, but couldn’t help it. I mean, come on; how lame is the world when even kids try to appease those in power? My sneer worsened when I saw the adults… “Maobadi… jindabad.” (I’m don’t particularly hate the Maoists, I just can’t stand their self-contradictory statements, their throwing around complex terms when stuff can be said in easier language, and their self-praise/self-worship.)

So, anyways, while the new parliamentarian Pampha Bhusal walked in the middle of the rally and the locals were busy doing namaste to her, I couldn’t erase the scornful look on face no matter how hard I tried. I’m just amazed at how people can be in love with whoever’s in power no matter how much they hated them.

MY FORECAST: Everyone’s going to turn into a big supporter of the Maoists now, like they loved the King when he was in power and started hating him after the April uprising two years back. 

Nepal Votes 2064

How many of us had actually seriously believed that the elections would happen? While I did like to be optimistic, I wasn’t sure. I mean, with the way things were going, even a true optimist couldn’t be too optimistic.

But then, they did pull it off. Ya, I know the elections have to be re-done in 60 stations, but the rest was fine- for the most part. I always believed that the EC (Election Comission) would do its jobs. The parties…hm…

Letter to Ram Thapa (name changed)

Note: Everyone gets to feel blue sometimes. I am not suicidal. I would never.

Dear Ram,
I never thought you’d kill yourself. Not like I think about suicide whenever I meet new people, or for every person I’ve met, but you know, some people just give out the feeling that they might commit suicide. Before I continue with the letter though, I’m not sure you remember me. You’ve seen me around a lot- you had. Every single day nearly half of every year for around seven years. You even inspired me, without knowing you had, the first time I flunked Optional Math. I used to think “Like Ram Thapa I’ll improve.” You gave me great hope, although I never ended up doing better at Optional Math. Well, I did actually, if you consider a 20 in the begginning of Grade nine to a 47 at the end of Grade 10 an improvement. But you helped me live with myself in the worst of times, when I was wallowing in self pity and when I didn’t recognise my worth. Well, the hope that stories about you gave me were false actually, and they might have prevented my improvement, looking at it in another way.